The A-Z of Punjabi!

This one's not just for Punjabis but for all those who have faced Punglish.
I like 'A is for Aiscreame' infact am half punjoo too(post my marriage to one) but read on.....

A is for Adjust. Punjabis will always ask you to adjust whenever they want to push you around.

B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your bum, it is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or whatever.

C is for Cloney and its not a process for replicating sheep, nor is its first name George. It is merely an area where people live e.g. 'Defence Cloney'.

E is for Expanditure (yes,as per the Punjoo lexicon, this IS the correct spelling and pronounciation). Punjabis are never shy of spending money – the latest cars, gadgets, marble floors: their ambitions are always expanding.

F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back, of course).

G is for Gaddi, and the way a Punjabi can pilot his gaddi puts any F1 driver to shame. (If the Grand Prix does come to Delhi there's no way Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder or Sukhvinder.)

H is for 'Ho Jayega Ji', and the moment you hear that you have to be careful because you can be reasonably sure it's not going to happen.

I is for Intezaar, and to know more about it see P.

J is for Jindagi, and if there's one person who knows how to live life to the fullest it's a Punjabi.

K is for Khanna, Khurana, etc, the Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses (e.g.'Keeping up with the Khuranas ji')

L is for Lovely, but unfortunately she almost never is. Also for LOIN!!!

M is for 'Mrooti', the car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in love with.

N is for 'No Problem Ji.' To find out how that works see H.

O is for Oye, which can be surprise (Oyye!), a greeting (Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy...).

P is for Panch Mint, and no matter how near (1 km) or far (100 km) a Punjabi is from you he always says he'll reach you in panch mint (5 minutes...).

Q is for Queue, a word completely untranslateable into Punjabi.

R is for Riks, and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one (risk), even if the odds are against him.

S is for Sweetie, Sunny, Simmi and Sonu, who seem to own half the cars in Delhi. (The other half by their Pappas - like 'Sweetie de Pappa di Gaddi')

T is for the official bird of Punjab: Tandoori Chicken.

U is for when you lose your sex appeal and become 'Uncle-ji'

V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.

W is for Whan, as in 'Whan are you coming, ji?'

X is for the many X-rated words that flow freely in all Punjabi conversations.

Y is for 'You nonsense', when anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting match.

Z is for Jigjag. (Please refer to G, M and P)

To Home and Back...

jus came back from home i:e Delhi....was a brief trip of 10 days dedicated to maa's condition. was happy to see that my lil sis has grown overnight battling tuff times and is pretty much the most mature member of my family given the fact that she is the youngest! she speaks words of enlightenment, spiritualism,restores faith when there is a growing disillusion, chants when there are heated arguments, runs around to make sure there is no financial roadblocks to mothers treatment, sits and discusses like an adult with a panel of renowed oncology specialists and assures everyone that there is gonna be a miracle!

My lil sister is my pride!

Maa's treatment kickstarted on 4th aug and the docs have advised us to wait until 8th sept to conclude anything, so we're being patient and waiting for a miracle....

Met some friends who came home to visit Maa and must say nothing has changed with them(What was I expecting in 5 months time!!!!) Trying times but my dad still made sure I had a hearty fill of my favorite fish everyday complete with Ilish,rui,papda and tangra (God bless him!) Trying times but my mother made sure I packed some ol and new clothes for Oman (keeping in mind my fetish for variety in clothing!) Trying times but to lighten it my sis managed to take me out for a senseless flick-Ugly aur Pagli....Things are complicated,things are slow, things will be like this for some time now but I have faith that good times will flow.

Amen!