O-zone: I deserve better, I am special

A wonderful article I came across today, which I'd like to share with you guys..this has been penned by Vinita Nangia from the Times of India



O-zone: I deserve better, I am special
12 Apr 2009, 0948 hrs IST, VINITA DAWRA NANGIA, TNN
Come on, admit it... all of you at some point have felt bigger than the situation you are in. It’s like you can give much more to life than life


I deserve better, I am special seems to want from you; much more to your work than the office demands of you — more in quality and bigger roles, that is, not in quantity of work. You feel you deserve more than is on your plate and a larger chunk of that pie called life. Your mind is restless because you are not stretching it to its limits and it tells you that life is passing you by — whizzing by real fast. I deserve much better than this, is the constant refrain in your head. I am special. That’s what Kate Winslet and Leonardo diCaprio (April and Frank Wheeler in the movie) tell themselves as a young couple in Revolutionary Road. Convinced they are “special”, they chafe at the bit that ties them to their mundane existence and the ordinariness of regular life. Frank swears he will not end up like his dad, but can see himself heading exactly that way. April cannot see herself as a housewife involved in routine chores and is yet doing nothing beyond that. It’s a case of life refusing to match their vision for themselves. Their reality has taken a completely different tangent from the life they planned and dreamt of and they do not like it. Sounds familiar? Is that self-delusional? When we think like that, are we deluding ourselves that circumstances are holding us back from the greatness we deserve and aspire for? Is it abnormal or is it the way the rest of the world thinks too? Does anybody anywhere believe “This is it! This is the life I want and this is exactly where I want to be at this point in time!” Why do we all get the feeling we are in the wrong place at the wrong time? We feel this all our professional life and feel it even more when one fine morning, we retire from work. With mental faculties that are sharper than ever, we wonder why the office suddenly doesn’t need us anymore. April feels deeply caught in the little life of suburban America in the 1950s in Revolutionary Road. She dreams of a life in Paris and plans to relocate her entire family in an attempt to shake off her angst and feeling of dissatisfaction — “running away from the hopeless emptiness of life here,” as they explain to a friend. However the whole thing boomerangs in her face because her husband apparently doesn’t feel the same depth of dissatisfaction and the movie ends in a tragedy. So many of us feeling caught in our circumstances, rue the situation and seek to change it. Is that good or bad? It can be argued both ways. A permanent state of dissatisfaction can only lead to misery and frustration, and so should be avoided. On the other hand, complete satisfaction with a situation leads to complacence and a lack of drive to achieve bigger and better! Is there a path between the two? Wonder if April had sought to deal with her angst in some other way than by changing towns, would the result have been as disastrous? She wails to her husband, “It’s what we are that’s being stifled; it’s what we want that’s being denied...” Can we possibly, as spiritual gurus suggest, change circumstances by changing ourselves? By looking within? Quite often, circumstances may be beyond our power, but we can certainly change the way we respond to them. All you need to do is step away and take a good, hard look. What is it that you really want to do with life? What is it that you hope to achieve? You can either focus on your limitations and lead a defeatist life, or resolve to turn your adversity into an opportunity and make the best of a given situation. Astrologer Sunita Chabra says, “Is there an end to wanting? If you achieve what you want today, you will want something else tomorrow.

There can be no peace from wanting and needing. The only peace can come from acceptance.” But acceptance sounds somewhat defeatist, unless taken in well-measured doses. We should have the wisdom and capability of figuring out what we need to accept and what needs to be challenged and overcome. The idea is not to quit dreaming and planning. Because it’s from those dreams that we evolve. The idea is simply to make sure we live life to our full potential. For as someone said, it isn’t dying that we need to be afraid of, but of an unlived life...

the kid in a pink frock and pigtails

Why should I grow up???? I don’t understand…y am I giving in to circumstances that demand I grow up? Afterall there are valid reasons Y I shud, but is that enuff…I hate to suppress the child in me…and yeah I love watching cartoons, splashing in the rains, messing up my room, cuddling up to my soft toys, dressing up my barbies, heavy petting, wearing brightly colored tic toc hair clips and earrings, wearing hello kitty or Johnny bravo t shirts or be completely naïve! This is me! If growing up means-cooking for your husband everyday, doing the coy bahu act in front of your in-laws, watching or weighing my words in public gathering’s, dressing up according to a code or form intellectual opinions about anything and everything that matters-I don’t wanna grow up! Really I don’t think its Fun enough!

Yes I am married but I still want my boy to pamper me, take me out for loooong drives, buy me the best chocolates and ice creams, take me out for animation flicks sometimes….Do u think I am being selfish-I guess to some extent I am… but dats the very essence of ‘Being Ureself’ !

I am not really looking forward to it but I know that there will be a time in my life where I will break into a new person! I can only dream that she’ll be an extension of ME and not someone who’s a total stranger!

Amen

Ho Hum...

A few things that occupy my mindspace these days….

1.The Tata Nano finally launched on 23rd Mar. It brings a new dawn in the lives of majority of Indians, who have been chugging along in cranky 2 wheelers for way too long. This car makes it possible for them to fulfill their aspirations of owning a car that doesn’t burn a hole in their pocket. As the world touts the NANO to be the cheapest car in the world, a gimmick, a harbinger of doom etc etc, for an average Indian it’s no less than a dream come true. I salute the true genius of Ratan Tata for his vision and the power to fulfill his promise (which sounded unreal to begin with).Its Innovations like these that will propel India into the big league and out of the clutches of global recession, maybe sooner than the others.Meanwhile my inbox gets flooded with funny nano mails

2.The Next holiday-Though I have several places in the world circling my head almost every second of the day and I can’t wait to take off for another much deserved holiday….it seems like a faraway prospect for me. Why you ask? Watch the space!

3.Britney Spears, Jennifer Aniston’s character ‘Rachel’ from FRIENDS, my mom, Sarah Palin’s daughter, my friends- Alex, Sheenu, Meenakshi , Pooja, a girl called Attica…are some of the people who I think about quite a lot lately. Various reasons, various personality traits, a close look at their kinda lifestyles…hmmm

4.Food- I am always torn in a tug of war between eating healthy and eating yummy with yummy invariably winning. As a result ive compromised on the strength of my liver a lil bit and now more often than not I find myself doing a balancing act. This is crazy as I am solely responsible for the state of affairs at home, but what the hell, I am still craving yummy food!!!!! Chicken stroganoff, goan fish curry’s, Spaghetti Bolognese, ilish macher paturi…… yummy umm yumm

5.Frieda Pinto-I fail to understand why on earth she manages to grab so many eyeballs. She’s not drop dead gorgeous or talented. So what’s her claim to fame? An Oscar winning movie where she had bare minimum to do? 1st she goes to the Oscars and every other prestigious award function, then she bags a film with Woody Allen and Antonio Banderas! And now I read, talented Gwyneth paltrow being threatened by her with regard to her estee lauder contract!!!! I mean what’s the world coming to???!!!!

6.Soumya, Jigisha, Amann Kachroo-No mater how upset I get with the state of affairs, they haunt me and I sit back and think-If India is really a progressively shrinking society that it claims to be or is it just a bubble waiting to burst anytime now! Such unfortunate incidents not just destroy the moral fabric of our country but also send it 100 steps behind the back of beyond.Real Shame!

7.Jade Goody-When it comes to her, I am not sure of what to think !!!!! The ultimate feeling is obviously one of sympathy but I find the entire act of securing a deal to film one’s death outright bizarre! Despite the racism slur she unleashed at shilpa shetty during big brother neither Goody nor Shetty really matter to me. They are insignificant people and insignificant they shall remain! But Jade Goody’s heartening fight with cervical cancer and her ultimate death has touched me a lil! May her soul rest in peace

8.The upcoming Elections-I really dunno what to choose from-The bad from the worse or the worse from the never mind… given a choice between our kind of uncharismatic and worthless leaders, I believe India can just about do as well if not more…God bless India. I know I sound like a smart alec making smart comments without any substance but trust me guys this is one area where I need to be alert as its a matter of our country’s future and thanks to this new found alertness, I strongly believe that India as a country is quite miraculous and we can chug along together even without compromising. Having said so, my balance tilts little towards the Congress. Jai Ho!