There's something about being ME

The Hellos,

Hmm, Ive just shifted some action from my ol blog to this new one...gradually I plan to make this the official outlet for my frustrated/enlightened scribbles.Meet me new page, 'Jab I Write'....quite in sync with the way I am ...coz those who know me,know how much I love kitsch...My friends temme that I am very bollywood and come to think of it, I admit I really am!

I have learnt the hard way, 'How not to shy away from stuff I like'...Initially, I used to fall victim to pretentions and psedo-isms and thot that although its not imp to prescribe to external ideologies or thought processes in life, it sometimes becomes imp to wear a mask that can help protect ure individuality from vain influences. So, in life I do admit that Ive pretended to be too many things at too many times like being an intellectual, an NRI basher,a fashion victim, an Al Pacino admirer or an acid rock enthusiast...but in real, Ive never really endorsed any! Those were just means to be one amongst the IT crowd which at certain stages in life mattered the most :P I loved the kick I got out of pretentions then, even went to the extreme of getting a tattoo on the....(A temporary one though) but now no more...

Jab I write...I expect the world to read, comment or critique ...I do not like silent readers who do not really care about participating,contributing or even ripping my posts apart and are there just for some 'lets kill time' sort of sport.I love the wicked, wily, bitchy stuff people post sometime and trust me, that makes me see the real side of this otherwise pretentious world where none of us are really black or white but innumerable variants of grey!

People tell me that at the outset I look like this delicate and naive Indian girl, who cannot tell the difference between the bull and the bear! And I must admit that at times, I have really felt the need to let them think what they think, so am not burdened under their undue expectations from me...But I was wrong, so over the years, it became completely cumbersome to carry on the fake act coz it wasnt getting me anywhere...My mind simply gave up! and the cynic in me started surfacing more often than actually welcome. So now wen some of the real ME has been exposed to the world, I have got extremely sticky comments like....Hey Ria, u cant have really done this! U shudnt talk like that! That's not how girls hailing from good families behave! wat happened to you actually? Since when have u discovered the joys of gossiping? or even , Hey Ria, ure the biggest bitch I know!

So u see, over the years, its this same set of people who despise some aspects of the real ME coz now I do not endorse their thought processes or even live up to their expectations ! But it doesnt matter really..over the years I have also learnt how to brush off some unwanted influences and retain the ones that can only help me grow...Well its a long winding process but I have started walking on the much dreaded path..and believe me u guys, wen someone says, 'Be Yourself', I know exactly wat it means and how it actuallly feels. I am ME becoz am worth it!