Hey people welcome to Jab I Write :) a bindaas forum for me and you to echo our thoughts... Ah the wonders of cyberspace! There is absolutely no issues on the kind of comments you make (Ucan choose to rip me apart) becoz I love Feedback. I know you might form an opinion of me soon after u read my blog but that's something I cant control...so Bindaas Bol!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Top 25

This is a random Top 25 things that one doesnt know about me! As a disclaimer I'd like to add that -I know Ive put it together but there have been times when I disagree with a few here and there...but since its supposed to be stuff you dont know about me...its largely true.


1.I don’t like being compared to anyone- even to celebrities! I feel it takes away from the novelty of being ‘Me’
2. Though I like my life here at OMAN, I dont mind moving elsewhere
3. I tend to become more complacent than ambitious
4. I hate the fact that my husband does not share my love for animals
5. Sexually, I can be very fiesty if I want to!
6. I want a baby boy more than a baby girl
7.Though I pile up a collection of classics and bestsellers, I love to read chick lit
8. I guess I will forever be in love with Hrithik Roshan
9. I love to bitch ppl out completely(regardless of reason or how well I know them)
10.I am insecure about everyone in my close circle
11.I still give that 'benefit of doubt' to all my ex flames
12.I want to go backpacking in Europe before I become a mommy
13.I can wear a protective mask at all times-This helps me ward off unnecessary influences and keep my sanity intact
14.If I was not into media, I wudve been a TV actress-Yea it might sound corny, but I always aspired to become a a Soap Opera actress...inspired from the real life Drama Queen that I am
15.I am not religious…simply scared- I follow whatever my mom prescribes here. I don have my loyalties to any one god or faith but I simply do certain things as a matter of practice…and to keep the gods pacified….but I certainly believe in the power of prayers
16.I hate cooking….everyday
17.I don’t want to die before doing my bit for animals- this is one cause I am extremely passionate about and feel for(my personal favorites being tigers and polar bears)
18. I can be an animal myself!
19.I follow trends coz I am incapable of setting my own
20.I don’t like writing
21.I want my own quaint little house in London
22.I am shit scared of becoming a mommy
23.I want to reunite with my family(physically)….in a different part of the globe
24.I have recurring visions of my paternal grandfather...who was a freedom fighter and died before I was born!
25.When I say ‘I don’t care’- I mean - I care a helluva lot!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Being Sexy is no Big Deal!

Are we Indian women getting comfortable with our sexuality lately? Now that times are changing, are we getting more and more conscious of the fact that we can be as HOT and Stunning as some of our western counterparts or even some of the hotties closer home ? I wonder…..

Because of family and societal conditioning , too many Indian women are sexually repressed and not even comfortable with exploring their own bodies. Sexually open women in India are most likely to suffer negative reactions, ostracism and verbal abuse. I notice that a lot of Indian men HATE to see their women act sexual. Even having sex with just one guy before marriage makes you a ****. The definition of a "good Indian woman" therefore is to act sexually demure and pretend to be virgin teritory! A bad Indian woman is one who is comfortable with the notion of sexuality, and is only meant to be used and abused.Not to forget ,your prospects of marriage too gets bleaker….

However today, it feels good to see a lot of our young crop of girls looking Hip in some real neat designer/ branded outfits that comfortably reveal more than they cover…but does it really end there? Nah, this is FASHION but there is more to sexuality than just looking good. But how do you define SEXY? Are all fashionable women SEXY or are all SEXY women fashionable? SEXY, STYLISH, SENSOUS,TRENDY, BOOTYLICIOUS, HOT, STUNNING My gawd!!!! Neverending words/ expressions/adjectives/watevers that at the end of the day I cant help but ponder-If it is really important for women to be all those and more to get noticed or is it OK if she is any one of those or none at all and still be comfortable in her skin?????

Sadly,in todays times the increasing exposure to sexual content shown on movies,TV, internet and magazines have not created any sense of liberation in the minds of women to actually make them comfortable with their sexuality but created a lot of undue pressure on them to pretend to be sexy without actually understanding the concept. There are millions of women in our country who try to blindly ape somebody they consider SEXY (without really understanding what it means) and end up becoming sad clones of each other!

Even I have been a confused soul and no matter how much I have tried to remain unflustered, I did fall victim to the magnetic nature of these expressions and tried hard to create a niche for myself( yes, u might think I am vain in trying to create a niche in this area rather than something more serious in life, but I know u thought about it too but are too serious to admit it and since its my blog, I have the right to be candid!)

Since there has been no one who has been able to simplify them for me, let alone differentiate between them…I have been left all by myself to deal with strong external influences to ultimately fathom their meanings and arrive at sometimes sensible and sometimes really funny conclusions. Personally,I choose and practise, “being SEXY with a subtle sense of individual style and loads of attitude to top a somewhat sensous mind and body!!!!!”

It helps if you’re naturally attractive (great assets, a smoking body, a deep tan, flawless skin) but I believe that too can be engineered(Think jargon-Makeovers!)Fortunately, things are changing even in India, and Youngistan seems to be opening up to the concept of sexual liberation.But an overdose can lead to sexual excesses, which again are not good for healthy self-esteem, but I guess it comes with the territory.

So you see, it's a cultural thing. When Indian men start to lighten up and begin to accept that their women are sexual beings, maybe Indian women will start being more open and more sexy in their own skin and trust me, its a great high !

So all you women out there, STOP BOTHERING AND GET SEXY!!!!!

The Other Side...

Dard jaata hai’… muskurakeDekh le dekh le… aazmaake…
Apne saaye se… tu nikalkeDekh le dekh le tu badalke…


Have you ever noticed how when you ask a lil girl if she wants to get married when she grows up? And you get reactions like, “Nah…am not going anywhere leaving my parents’’…you find it real cute. But just as she grows up, Life pops its head to indicate the beginnings of Phase 2 where this perspective takes a 360 degree turn and she eventually leaves them….a lil anxious, a lil pensive but largely fanciful of what lies ahead...

Among the many wonders of the inexplicable human nature ,this is one of the most fascinating…according to me, no other situation better defines ‘A woman who is the epitome of strength in odds!’ Having experienced it myself like many others, I know for real that no matter how unflustered we may look, it takes a mighty heart to actually give up the comfort zone, the support system created by your family, where you have cozied up all these years, to move on and explore what lies beyond…Am amazed how we women do it! If I can take my example here, am living so faaaar away from everything dat defines HOME…..am in a new country, amidst new people and new challenges yet I find myself getting up everyday to a new dawn, creating a lil world of my own…learning, tripping, rising, learning, tripping, rising, living in constant HOPE but ever losing heart.All in the process of creating a home away from home. My own HOME !

The initial steps into this new phase is really intense, but what can make the ride smooth and unforgettable is a very old and effective booster called LOVE. Yes LOVE is something that gets you going, when the goings get tough. U can live in constant HOPE but you cant keep going if there is no LOVE. And this comes from nowhere but your mate, with whom you embark on this meaningful journey called Matrimony’

Does ur love for your parents get any lesser? No, it just grows stronger with time and before you realize you have created a whole new world where every object of your affection resides with peace.

A dilemma called...PR!

I am essentially a PR girl, I live, love, drink and sleep PR...but when someone asks me what I do, am tongue-tied! Paradox, u might think...but try asking any PR professional the same question and chances are, u might come up with similar kind of reactions. Reason being...PR in India unlike the US or UK is still a fledgling industry but it is taking some giant strides to make its presence 'significant' for corporates across industries.Indian corporates have slowly but steadily warmed up to the idea of PR being a prominent influencer alongside advertising and marketing to communicate the Big Picture as well as the inherent aspects of their business

But even after 6 years in PR, when I sit for a job interview or even try explaining my profession to the generallies(even my in-laws, wen dey met me for the marriage interview....)I am faced with inane questions like, so when u say PR, what exactly do u mean? So wat is it that u exactly do?how does a typical day in the life of a PR professional look like? So wats ure role in it??? etc etc And inane reactions like..."Oh so ure a journalist!!!!!!"

Honestly in my experience,its easier to explain PR to a commoner than an experienced professional who claims to know it all! Coz u never know wat new jargons he comes up next with!
It seems my dilemma is not unique and while I was reading up, I came across a brilliant piece co-incidentally written by the CEO of my ex company, Genesis Burson Marsteller, that sheds light on perceptions related to PR as an industry, what we do and how does it impact business and also where do we go from here. So here is Ashwani Singla's piece that I wanted to share with you guys, who still wonder what is it that I am exactly into!

To be or not to beBy Ashwani Singla on Apr 22, 2008 in Indian PR industry, PR professionals, industry
Recently, I read the report on public relations consulting industry by a leading industry association based on a random survey of PR professional projecting the size of the Indian public relations industry at USD 3bn or an incredible INR 12,000 crores!! It claimed that the industry will double by 2010. The numbers seem incredible. As I was deliberating on its contents, I received an enquiry from a highly respected journalist who writes exclusively on public relations seeking some insights into the size of the industry. It was interesting to see some of the back of the envelope calculation he had done.
He estimated, given the industry reportedly has 30,000-40,000 professional the average billing per professional would be a minimum $75,000/- pa or INR 3mn per annum. At this level of billing per professional, we would be competing with some management consultancies!
Clearly, it does not seem to be the reality on the ground. I wish it were.
Interestingly, the same report mentions “Lack of understanding of PR: It may come as a surprise but most people still have a very vague notion of PR” as one of the constraints to attracting good quality talent into the profession.
What is public relations? Let me share with you my notion of public relations.
Whilst I am told there are 386 definitions, I learned only one definition of public relations “A planned, deliberate, sustained campaign aimed at enhancing trust between a company and its various publics”
What the definition failed to tell me was the aim of achieving the trust? That I was told would depend upon the objective of your programme. Therefore, I put two and two together and concluded – the objective of a public relations programme is to “achieve trust that provides a reassurance of action taken by a stakeholder in relation to that particular company.”
So what skills and capabilities we need to achieve trust that provides reassurance and be seen and recognised as true blue professionals? I share an excerpt of a conversation with my young colleagues entering the profession.
“What business are we in?” A question I often ask. Answers range from reputation managers to communication specialists!
We are in the business of influencing behaviour,” I say. I am asked: why do we influence behaviour? “To help create preference,” I reply. We help create preference for whom? “Our clients company, its products or services, etc, etc.” I reply.
How do we achieve that preference? Is effective media relations enough? Here’s where encourage them to discover their own answers. I urge them to read Crystallizing Public Opinion by Edward Berneys to understand how he understood and used public relations. He should know. He coined the term ‘public relations’. Incidentally, he was the nephew of Sigmund Freud and he wrote this text around 1920, a few years after the First World War.
Do we really see ourselves as students of the art and science of influencing behaviour? Do we work acquiring the knowledge and skill for understanding and influencing behaviour? Are we able to merge our understanding of human behaviour with its application in the commercial world?
The point I am making is that our myopia in seeing the true purpose & application of our own profession is responsible for how others see and value us. Isn’t it ironical, a profession which claims to help ‘manage image’ suffers from a lack of it?
When we can improve our own vision, work towards understanding and influencing behaviour, apply that knowledge in the commercial world by choosing the most appropriate tools and channels, only then will public relations be truly understood and valued for its contribution.
This has been my journey and learning as I made the leap of faith from hotels, business school to public relations! I remain a student of fathoming the exciting depth of understanding the true value of public relations.

The painful official Email...and some of my most memorable email goof ups!

If you are making your dough in the world of communication, you cannot get away with not knowing the art of writing official e-mails. Oh! so u didn’t know there was an artform like that??? Well then Good Morning buddy. I say it is an artform becoz I truly believe it is...One cannot deny the significance of emails to our everyday work and contrary to public opinion, it is not a vanilla affair but pretty much the crux of what we do and how we do it!

According to the set standards of email etiquettes for official mails, a couple of points have to be kept in mind like:

1) The font of mail should be uniform
2) The mail should have a Pyramid Structure i.e. it should contain:
* Situation* Action items* Information* Conclusion
3) For writing use only Black or Blue color. For highlighting purpose make the word bold. Avoid using Red color as Red signifies danger, so use it when urgent.
To be formal we could use Dear Mr. /Ms. followed by Last name or Full name. We should not use Dear Mr. /Ms. followed by First name alone.
4) We should not put '/' in greetings like Hi X/Y. Instead we should say Hi X and Y.
5) We should not use 'Thanks and Regards'. Instead we should say:
Thank youRegards
6) We should not use sentences like 'As per your mail' because 'per' is used only with units like per Kg etc. Instead we should write 'According to your mail'.
7) In our mails we often write 'Please revert back'. Instead we should only write 'Please revert'.
8) For the Signature in mail, if we are sending to people in our company only then we should not write our company name in the signature because they already know that we are part of the same company but if we are sending mail to an external party like client etc then we should write our company name in the signature because there we have to brand our company name in front of others.
OK, so some of us are aware of the norms mentioned above…..however in our daily rigmarole, many a times we end up doing a hasty job and that leads to several email goof ups!
It’s happened to me quite a few times, let me recollect a few unforgettable ones:

1. I was once pitching a story for one of my Top clients to 3 publications simultaneously and I told each of them that its gonna be an exclusive! (following the rule of elimination which stated that pitch to 3/4 publications out of which one would definitely bite the bait and do my story) so I prepared a pitch mail and sent it to one journalist and the very next moment I sent it to the other…only this time I forgot to customize the mail and change the name of that journalist to the other ! So that screwed my chances of getting an exclusive in either !!!! The journalist ofcourse thought I was one cheeky kid and let me go… He and me are great friends now

2. My 3rd day at work at a new place and I sent a layout of an ad to one of my clients(the big one really!) for his approval. This was the 3rd time that the layout was going to him and each time he would suggest multiple changes. I was pretty ruffled with so much of back and forth. So I forwarded the mail to my supervisor saying, “More brainwaves…” So far all was under control, but suddenly I notice a mail from my supervisor to the client responding on the revisions suggested… where my supervisor had accidentally written above my cheeky comment and sent it to the client!!!!! A quick message recall did not help as the client had already read my comment and wrote back nasty stinkers saying all sorts of things…. Wat ensued was a heated mail war between my supervisor and the client and I got a good piece of mind from the super boss! So you see it was technically not my fault but an accident committed by my supervisor for which both of us had to face the music…and this is how I managed to ruffle some feathers on my very 3rd day of a very new job!!!!

3. Once I sent a raunchy forward by accident to a senior editor of a big business publication!!!!!! No excuses here, his name popped up on my address list automatically, and I was meaning to send it to someone with the same 1st name!

4. At another time, when gmail wasn’t working in d office, I happily used my official id to chat with my then boyfriend now husband! But again my perfect sense of timing took the best of me and callously I forwarded the entire mail trail to my colleague sitting in the next work station. She was famously known for her bootlicking skills with the boss and there flew my chances of a good appraisal! ( U might be thinking y I mailed my chat to her???? Well, I remember it was for a reason but can’t really remember d reason rite now!)

5. Also some years back while I was still in my initial stages of learning the nuances of the corporate culture and the protocols associated with it, there was another incident which was a result of my sheer ignorance….I was mailing something across to my client in Australia and accidentally hit the caps lock, further when I finished composing the mail and read it through, I thought that the caps lock made the content look more serious…so I sent the entire mail in caps lock!!!!!!!!! My client ofcourse was quick to point out that it was very rude on my part to caps lock the mail whatsoever!!!

So you see there are several occasions at work when we are running around, trying to make things work and meet unrealistic deadlines. And in the process we tend to get casual about minute details and send out mails left, right and center! Today I am doubly careful about each official mail I send but that too does not guarantee me from never committing email goof ups in the future! But email etiquettes are not really taught at B schools or even form a part of the general curriculum of communication courses… so this is something you learn on the job, end up making mistakes, rectify them and eventually set quality control standards.

I’ve listed below some of the lessons I learnt and am still learning about official emails, like:

1. Read and Re-Read your mails when you are sending it to an external stakeholder! It is not a matter of your personal image but your brand/company’s image which might be at stake!

2. Never use you’re official email id for personal correspondence!

3. If you have to share a cheeky remark with your colleagues about anything official, please DO NOT put it in writing !Go talk about it!

4. Never type an official email in all CAPS!

5. DO NOT MAIL just for the sake of it! This not only shows u have nothing better to do but also screws up the server bandwidth!

So guys this is to reiterate that emails are indeed an integral part of any corporate culture…so don’t haste them and do spend a few minutes reviewing a mail before you push the ‘Send’ button. Some goof ups can lead to dire consequences and that is something which is not under our control...But like any other corporate ethic, this too is an ongoing learning process and one should not shy away from the lessons taught on the job!

Happy Mailing !